Building conflict resolution skills

It has been estimated that leaders spend up to 60 per cent of their time trying to resolve workplace conflict. While some degree of conflict is unavoidable, and can even enhance individual and group effectiveness, it can have a major impact on wellbeing and job performance. Interpersonal conflict at work is more negative, enduring and pervasive than other types of stress, so it must be carefully managed.

Six steps to managing conflict

Step 1. Consider how to achieve a mutually desirable outcome. Be aware that one party ‘losing’ to the other is likely to escalate conflict rather than resolve it. Perceived loss encourages people to try to re-establish a sense of fairness through competition, criticism or disengagement.

Step 2: Encourage people to communicate human to human. Recognise that conflict compromises people’s fundamental need for respect, autonomy, feelings of competence and social status. Encouraging one party to see that the other is ‘just like them’ will encourage trust and the use of positive language and behaviour.

Step 3: Anticipate people’s reactions and rehearse your responses to them. Before having a difficult conversation, thinking through how the other person might react to your argument can expose its weaknesses. It can also help ensure your message will be received in the way that is intended without the other party becoming defensive.

Step 4: Substitute blame and criticism with curiosity. Blame will escalate conflict, encourage defensiveness and lead to disengagement, whereas adopting a learning mind-set will inspire people to explore potential solutions where both parties can win.

Step 5: Ask for feedback on how you managed the conflict situation. Showing fallibility can disarm opponents, as this is a quality that inspires trust in leaders. Ask people how you could have handled the situation more effectively.

Step 6: Assess psychological safety in your organisation. Conflict is much less likely if people feel able to make mistakes or raise issues without fear of criticism or retribution. A psychologically safe environment (KFP3 Learning Organisation) that encourages moderate risk-taking and curiosity, and which enables tolerance of uncertainty, will make conflict resolution easier for all.